Thursday's Transfer Chimney sees Benitez' Anfield career go up in smoke

Liverpool Football Club are on the brink of a return to the 1980s, in the manner of Alex Drake in the hit BBC series Ashes to Ashes, due to the imminent departure of sullen Spaniard Rafael Benitez. Liverpool owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett were deeply disappointed with Benitez' failure to propel the Merseyside club into their usual fourth place finish, which apparantly constitutes success for a club that has tasted league glory 18 times, and may be forced to offer Benitez up to £16 million to sever his Anfield contract. Whilst it is understandable to want to part company with a manager who has failed to meet his owners' expectations, surely a club with the reputation and huge fan expectations of Liverpool would have already lined up a replacement? To bring back Kenny Dalglish, even if it is only a temporary move, will surely result in Liverpool falling further behind the rich young guns of Tottenham Hotspur, Manchester City and perhaps even Aston Villa and Everton if Gerrard and Torres were to jump ship. Time will tell what sort of Liverpool team will be lining up for the first game of the season, but if Torres were to leave for the sunny shores of his native Spain, could we expect Ian Rush and John Barnes to take his place, standing side by side with Dalglish, leg raised on the bonnet of a red Audi Quattro. After all David Cameron and the Tories are apparantly taking us back to the 1980s, so why not Liverpool?

In other news, Queens Park Rangers, serial victims of journalistic inaccuracy, look set to complete the signing of Sheffield United goalkeeper Paddy Kenny, after agreeing a fee understood to be in the region of £750,000. The 32-year old Irish international has already undergone a medical and agreed personal terms, and according to the Fulham Chronicle Kenny will be unveiled by his former mentor Neil Warnock this afternoon. Despite having already reached and passed the magic 30 mark, Kenny will likely replace 36-year old stopper Radek Cerny as Rangers' number-one, and provide a fresh, young (at least by comparison), breath of fresh air to the R's back four. Whether said addition will be enough to resolve QPR's chronic defensive weaknesses remains to be seen, and with the proposed £500,000 move for Bristol City's Bradley Orr seemingly having fallen through, the R's are still in desperate need of a pair of wing backs to complement Warnock's impressive array of central defenders.

Meanwhile for those hoping for confirmation of Darren Ambrose's £750,000 switch from South-East to West London, you are once again set for disappointment. Despite having agreed personal terms, undergone a medical, and a fee having been in place for what seems like forever, new Crystal Palace owners CPFC 2010 have set about stonewalling the deal in an effort to hang onto their best players, having recently saved the club from liquidation. Now I am not for one moment suggesting that Crystal Palace ought to simply allow their best players to leave if they can avoid it, but it would certainly be extremely unfair both on the purchasing club and the player himself were Ambrose denied a move he has over the past few days come to anticipate as inevitable. To renege on an agreement put in place by a previous regime and attempt to cancel a deal at this stage is extremely poor form by Palace, a club I have huge respect for and was delighted to see remain in the Championship and saved from liquidation. I personally hope the issue will be resolved quickly so that the deal which has already been signed, sealed but not yet delivered will be so by monday morning at the latest.

Finally in a slice of transfer news some of you may not yet have seen, UAE giants Al Ahli have completed the marquee signing of former World Cup winner Fabio Cannavaro, who has agreed a two year contract after departing from Juventus at the end of last season. Cannavaro said of the transfer, "I always thought of moving to live in Dubai as I love it and I have achieved my dream by moving to Dubai and play for one of its big clubs like Al Ahli." So there you have it; Napoli, Parma, Inter Milan, Juventus, Real Madrid, Al Ahli. Well why not, after all as a recipient of the prestigious Ballon d'Or, winner of league titles in Spain and Italy, and of the biggest prize in international football, the FIFA World Cup, one could say Fabio has seen all that European football has to offer. After all, as one of the greatest footballers of the modern era, you'd always want to play for the big clubs wouldn't you?